Warning: Ministry May Be Hazardous to Your Spiritual Health

  

It started with three dreams in one night:
In each dream I ended up crying. I mean, like, wailing. Each dream had to do with an aspect of pastoral ministry and in two out of the three dreams I wanted out. In the third dream what I wanted out for was the sweet, sweet presence of God.

Similarly themed dreams continued for two more years although I knew from that first night that God was saying, "Get off the 'platform' - out of your pastoral role" [I was Children's Pastor at the time for over 11 years and was tired]. "Come to ME". How does one explain a call from God to leave ministry and just be with Him?

I did end up leaving that beloved ministry and so much of my life since has actually become a beautiful hidden place with Him. I  still minister in other ways but I'm not as tethered to it as I once was.

Of all things that must carry a warning label - serving God should not even be on the list. After all, Jesus told us to go and make disciples, to baptize, the preach the good news, to visit the captives, heal the sick, care for the poor. It's our holy commission before Him. Why on earth would such ministry need a warning label??

It is not the acts of service themselves, although doing things you are not called to do is a recipe for burnout. It's just that in our fallen humanity, we create man-made bureacracies around just about everything, even around giving a thirsty person a cup of water. And these bureaucracies must be fed. So must also our starving egos, which so often get wrapped up in our service. The sacrificial fodder is our time alone with God, our time in the Word, our Secret Life.  As a result ministers backslide, fall into horrendous sin, lose their families, their peace and their faith.

Without a deep well of intimacy with the Creator to draw from, ministry is just 'work'. Preaching becomes shallow, pastoring perfunctory, and bearing another's burdens is, well, burdensome.

What a gloriously jealous God we serve. The Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God  Exodus 34:14. He jealously guards His time with me, jealously guards my affections so that they are towards Him alone; jealously creates yearnings in my heart that only He can fill. Won't let me sleep or enjoy my vocation if we don't have our quality time.

We are all called as ministers of the Gospel if we believe in Jesus. But if you are called to function within a church or in a ministry setting, here are some tips:

1. Don't pimp off the Word. Refuse to reduce your time in the word to just an opportunity to look for sermon or teaching material. It's way too precious for that. 
2. Remember that talking about God and working for God isn't the same as being with Him. 
3. Keep your identity as a beloved son or daughter of God separate and apart from your vocation as a minister. Its just what you do, not who you are, even if people still think your first name is "Pastor".
4. Make time just to 'steal away'. Find places of solitude and solace. Have a special way to regularly recharge several times a year with extended time alone. And get a life!
5. If ever you find ministry stealing your joy as well as your identity, robbing your family of time or just a drag - quit! It's nothing worth losing your soul over. It really isn't. God is probably setting you up, anyway, because He wants you that badly.

But what about all the people and their needs? You're not God and He cares for them far more. Out of your place of hiddenness you will come out in a better place to serve them. Still, I feel the irresistible call, "Come, daughter, away from the madness. Be with ME".

Forget Me Not - Part 1

 

A running joke in my household is any sentence that begins with, "Hey Mom, do you remember.....oh, never mind." Once my family tries to walk down memory lane with me, they often find out that they've lost me before the first bend in the road. That's when I get the pathetic head-shake from said husband or offspring as they move to the next topic. Yea... my memory's shot.

The Nation of Israel had a memory problem, too. A "God-memory" problem. In mulling over the plethora of passages where God, Himself, admonishes Israel not to forget Him, I realize how central the issue of "God-memory" is to one's ability to live faithfully before Him. 

I can feel God's yearning heart as He pleads with wanton Israel to remember their special love covenant. I remember how faithful you were to me when you were young. You loved me as if you were my bride - Jeremiah 2:2  [She]  went after her lovers; But Me she forgot - Hosea 2:13  You have forgotten God your Savior - Isaiah 17:10 You forgot the God who gave you birth - Deuteronomy 32:18  

It actually hurts God's feelings when we live life as though He isn't the very source of that life.

I can feel His hurt through the book of Hosea. I will never forget that two month period of time decades ago where He led me through that book, showing me His Hosea heart towards my Gomer. "She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and gold.."  Hosea 2:8 

In pondering this I am reminded of the image of a child holding his parent's hand while crossing the street. Now, who is really holding whom? While the child may believe that their anxious grip of tiny fingers is keeping them tethered to their parent, we grown-ups know it's the other way around. God is also reminding us that our salvation and our keeping are never dependent on our lame abilities to remember Him but, thankfully, on His commitment to never forget us!

Isaiah 49:15 (NIV) “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

It's in God's not forgetting that we get nudged by His Holy Spirit to stop getting so distracted and to pray - to stop being so busy and to sit with Him - to stop being so darn proud and to humbly admit our helplessness before him. It is He who reminds our Spirit that we miss Him!  It's God's merciful remembrance of us that allows us to periodically crash and burn when we get too independent and forget Him. He can't get us off His mind!

Oh Lord, thank you for remembering me. For gently chastising me in my mental malaise even as your heart breaks over it. Continue to remind me to remember You!

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,

    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63: 6-8