To Be or Not to Be

Many years ago, I was at a retreat house in Ronkonkoma, New York, sitting by the rich flora and fauna (bull frogs and loons) of a secluded Lilly pond. I gazed up and in the sky above the tree line I noticed two birds (hawks?) circling around one another. As I am wont to do in such instances, I asked, "Lord, what are these birds doing?" He immediately answered in an internal audible voice, "They're not doing anything. They're being birds and birds fly".

This was years ago and those words continue to reverberate in my mind and spirit. It was a time when God spoke to me the most clearly about the difference between doing and being. You've surely heard the expression, "We're human beings not human doings" but what does that really mean?

The mainstay examples for Christians usually come from the book of Luke, chapter 10, and the story of Mary and Martha. You know the story; they had their friend Jesus over and Martha is scurrying around the kitchen, angry because her sister Mary is just sitting at Jesus' feet, gazing at him. Jesus says that 'Mary has chosen the better part' meaning that we should enjoy God in communion and intimacy first and not not put our primary emphasis on doing religious activities. Got it.

That's well said and true, but when God spoke His words to me, I knew there was a deeper, more personal message: What does it mean to be Linda? 
I've wrestled with this for years because so much of what it means to be me means is a list of my roles and duties - mother-daughter-sister-spouse-friend - I know there must be something more.

The question is, when do my identity and my activities actually converge?
I don't have the complete answer yet, but I believe God is revealing this: I am Being Linda when I am fully present in the moment and my activity flows so effortlessly from my soul that I am not aware of the dichotomy. When I look at it this way the answers start coming: Being Linda is worshiping God in pure glee in dance or strumming my guitar alone. It's comforting a crying child without thinking about what the "correct" thing to do is. It's belly laughing at the silliest things even when no one else sees the humor. It's crying when my heart breaks, not caring who's around. It's picking flowers I'm not supposed to touch.

Is God also inviting you to go on this quest? To know the joy of those fleeting moments when you are the true "you" that God created, and feeling His pleasure in it? I pray that my quest provides a compass for yours.